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Martha Stewart Hair Lexicon

Martha Stewart’s current Thirst Trap Era has ignited its own global thirst for all things Martha, at least for Gen Z and her 4M followers. This isn’t just a renaissance, this is the renaissance of a renaissance of a renaissance. At 81 years old, Martha Stewart still serves. Ain’t nobody keeping this bad-ass bitch down.

The thing about Martha is that she is the everywoman. There is a little Martha in all of us. It is her love of a good Halloween costume, her ability to roll a joint, being a working mum, putting in jail time, her thirsty selfies, it’s the utter lack of pretention.

In spite of her extraordinary life, Martha is normcore to the core.

Martha reassures us that we might not need to rewash the laundry we left rotting in the machine overnight after all. She teaches us practical life lessons like how to get the seeds out of a pomegranate and that regrets are real, “My only big regret that I can talk about is that Saturday Night Live asked me to host. My probation officer wouldn't give me the time.”

But also not to worry about our regrets, “So the pie isn't perfect? Cut it into wedges. Stay in control, and never panic.”

Born on the 3 Aug, 1941 to Polish-American parents in New Jersey USA, she adorably calls her mum Big Martha. Big Martha gets the credit for teaching little Martha how to cook, bake and sew.

Signed to Ford Models NY at age 15 Martha was earning $50/hour on modelling jobs and paying her way through swanky Barnard College in New York.

In 2020 Martha had this to say: “I knew that I could model, I knew I could pose for pictures, but I was not sexy, and I was not provocative. That feeling never came. It still hasn't come. I'm waiting for that day.” Her Thirst Trap Era would be just around the corner, who knew?

Martha spent a 7 year stint as a broker on Wall Street from 1965 to 1972. She was the only female broker in the firm and wore velvet hot pants and high heel boots to work. “Every man on Wall Street was trying to get you. Every man was trying to touch you in the cab. I did not fuck around, if you want to use that word.”

Martha’s only child Alexis Stewart was born in 1965.

Martha quit Wall Street to be a homemaker and launched the catering business that lead to a string of books, TV shows and appearances that would later cement her status as a mega media mogul and see her become the world’s OG influencer.

“The cocktail party is probably America's greatest contribution to the world of entertaining”

Martha loves animals and skincare. “I use the same products on my body as I use on my face. I don't think there's really any difference between the two, so the more moisturizers and serums you use, the better off you are.”

“ I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it's not a waste of time.”

In 1999 Martha took her company Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia public and became America’s first self-made female billionaire. Heading into the 2000’s Martha is now an unstoppable power player.

Brown is the colour of choice for court appearances as Martha is first convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice following an insider trading scandal in 2004 (She spent 6 months in jail) and then as she defends charges from Macy’s for breach of contract in 2013. Not to mention the Hèrmes handbags that accompanied her to court each day.

“I'm not supposed to say it, but I was not guilty of any crime. I became a target because I was a strong and rich woman who had been very successful.”

LOVES a dress up.

With fame and fortune in the (hèrmes) bag, glamourous invitations are sure to follow.

Martha is renowned for her respectable (read drab) taste in fashion, thank the gods she uses a personal stylist for red-carpet forays.

Is this the final renaissance of Martha Stewart? She is now in a class of celebrity that is untouchable. Like in the Ascension or North Korea, Martha has now risen to the rank of supreme pop culture icon, all thanks to a poolside selfie.

BFF with Snoop Dogg, rumoured to be dating Pete Davidson and flogging coffee beans dressed only in an apron, have reached peak Martha?

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